Integration of the Ice Giants

Some gardens call it cryptozoology. In our garden we have little use for the term, because we've been able to sufficiently prove the existence, either current or historical of such creatures. I've often talked about adventuring through jungle climates, but its also possible to adventure on the rocks.

As trying as the hot humid conditions as found in the jungles are, its a completely different thing to scale the snow-peaked rock hills of the eastern Garden regions. As the height increases the air thins, the temperature drops ever further. Lungs become stiff in the cold, straining to draw what life sustaining breath they can from the air. Extremeties become increasingly numb, making it ever harder to find purchase in the increasingly slippery hand and footholds in the rock. Snow coverings and snowstorms make it harder and harder to see the sheer drops down which if a man should fall, there is little hope that he should survive.

But that was where I had to trek, to make contact with the giants of the ice. And a trek it was, weeks of travel, four companions came with me, only two reached the snow tribes and only one made it back to the established regions. But what a journey! For all its hardships to open talks with the tribe, the Yetii, was an honour worth sacrifice. They are magnificant to behold, 8 foot tall on average, as broad as three stout men, covered head to toe in white fur. They do not wear clothing, for they see it as unnecessary, but it would be foolish to mistake this for savagery. They are a highly intelligent people, and though their tech differs vastly from our own, it is not far shy of ours in terms of advancement. In fact, had they been in open outside trade for the same time as the currently established regions of the Garden, I would imagine their technology would by now rival our own. Though they are a fierce warrior race in their own right, little of their tech is devoted to war, and instead mainly favours farming and entertainment.

Talks being what they were, I had to prove myself physically first, and while minor concessions were made for my relative stature and lack of fur and claws, I had to track and fight a snowgator single handed. Snowgators are strange creatures indeed, in appearance much like an albino aligator, only covered in fur, and with stronger legs, feet better adapted for climbing frozen peaks, and a spiney protrusion running down their backs. The concessions I was allowed were one of my skins used for warmth during my trek, and my trusted knife, unsheathed of course, for the last thing I wanted was to come into contact with a snowgator only to find it was frozen in its sheath. In all honesty, the battle was less than epic, the snowgator that I found was barely out of its teens, and not too canny. In its haste to attack it slipped thirty feet down a ravine, snapping three of its legs. Never one to let a golden opportunity pass, I climbed down after the little blighter and finished it off with barely a struggle.

Once back to the tribe, they were so impressed by my achievement, as it goes without saying that I embelished the whole affair a little, that not ony did they open some basic trade talks with established regions, but also made me an honorary tribesman, which holds great promise for establishing the snowtribes as official members of the council.

Cryptozoology. The Yeti. Do they exist? Techinically, I am one.

Sea Legs

Accomplished adventurer though I am, I'm no sailor. I know nothing about it and in all honesty, have no great desire to, in spite of a strong naval tradition in my family. I mean sure, I've chartered the odd boat on this expedition and that, but the control of the vessel has always been left to those more experienced, and in this regard, capable than myself.

Its the leviathans you see, I've never liked being in their vicinity, especially in an element where their motion is swift, agile and natural, while ours is sluggish at best. And the sharks. Fascinating creatures from a distance, efficient, deadly, and rather intelligent, as fish go. Doesn't mean I want to get up close and personal with them though.

I prefer flying, I know that a failure in the vessel is far more likely to resut in death, but at least the garden doesn't have too many flying monsters. Leastways, none that pose any significant danger to a flight vessel.

Vindication

I have a theory that I've been working on. Its a kind of meaning of life sort of a thing. People often wonder what it is that people want. Some believe that we are here simply to reproduce, to keep their genes alive, but why? People want something within their lives to keep them going while they're here. Many believe that essentially, people want to be happy. But I don't believe that. No, too many thrive on misery, both their own and others. I believe that the answer to what we seek, to what keeps us going, is vindication.

Yes, justification of your own set of beliefs. That's why those of us who strive for happiness want to believe everone wants to be happy. But observe those who thrive on misery. Social conditioning leads them to claim they wish for happiness, but in truth, what they really seek is proof that their way is the true way, that the world and society, when stripped bare is built on misery. That's why they jump on other's misery with glee. They see it as proof that others dwell in misery, hiding it with a thin veil of smiles. Thus, they feel vindicated, and can go on in their mindset.

So what does each person want? Well, its different for everyone, some need to be good enough. For whom? Good question. Others want to have and raise a successful family, finding vindication in the well being of their offspring.

Well, I'm running late for a conference with the regional council, so I'll leave it at that somewhat rushed conclusion for now. But maybe it gives you something to think on.

A True Adventurer

Adventuring. Lovely word isn't it? Makes it all sound like a bit of lark. Tales of derring do, stories of treasures found and foes overcome. What nobody ever wants to tell you is that, for the most part, its a dreadfully dull affair. Weeks, sometimes months, spent alone, but for the company of nasty little beasties and insects ranging from the deadly poisonous down tot he just plain annoying. As I mentioned previously, that's why I've found the recent invention of the ARC such a boon.

The reason people usually leave out teh detail and truth of adventuring is, well who wants to hear it? You'll never hear a man in your local tavern holding court with "Did I ever tell you the about the time I searched the deepest darkest regions of the jungle for eight months, with nothing to show for it but dysentry!" No we talk about our successes, our finds, our more glamourous hardships. Because nobody wants to hear about how you were suffering a nasty rash because you'd long since run out of anthing that resembled toiletries and there was nothing in the surrounding area but poisonous leaved plants. There's little interest to be found in tales of walking through very similar surrounds for months, with little danger, and little to overcome save a few blisters and loneliness. Hell, on full expeditions loneliness isn't always a major factor, with others around you to laugh the night away, and maybe share a rum or two.

For the most part, its actually quite pleasant. Ample edible vegetation, plentiful supplies of potable water, walking through peaceful areas with nothing but natural sounds and sights around you. I wouldn't ever want to give it up even if it was that alone. But then there are the side benefits, the treasures, both natural and unnatural, the fortune and glory, the excitement of a battle against extreme consitions or bloodthirsty creatures. And the opportunities for experimentation, be it with a new cutting technique, usages of a newly discovered plant, or discovery and subsequent investigations into new species of fauna. Successful adventurers have the most marvelous life, the unsuccessful, however, well, the human skeletons we periodically find on our expeditions attest to the way their lives tend to go.

A.R.C.

Artificial intelligence. It was the holy grail for many a programmer and psychologist for the longest time. How could we make a computer emulate true human thought processes and interaction? I would be more likely to question why one would want to, but in any case, this was approached from two angles, really. One was intellectual. Can a bunch of graduates really make a programme tht could fool a person into believing it was another person, that kind of bollocks. The other was more practical, and yet that was produced by and for gamers, how can we make a model react intelligently to a variety of situations.

In marrying the two ideals they should have been able to make a perfect replica of humanity. Never quite got there. Nope. They'd think they were along the right lines then some glaring inadequecy would show. Really, the only technologically developed intelligence that we could have really been proud of were the nanites, but they mostly did it on their own, nd were a failure as a replication of human intelligence on account of them far surpassing our capabilities.

The solution to this was reached only very recently. The development was being apporached from the wrong direction. With the realisation that true emulation of humanity could only be reached by developing artificial stupidity. We're not defined by how close to perfection we are, quite the opposite. Its our imperfections, our foibles that make us interesting, make us human. It was a short jump to Make such a programme portable, using controllable nanotech. And so the Artificial Representative Console came to be. It was designed to be a hard-wearing portable console which could provide on the spot advice, but which could also serve in some small way as a companion. I must admit, an adventurer such as myself, oft with naught but my kukhri for company in some godforsaken spot, relished the thought of such a device.

I was delighted when I was asked to field test the first model. Initially, I considered it unfortunate that Arc had been slightly misprogrammed and was often sidetracked from her advisory capacity by her preoccupation with homoeroticism, or as she prefers, bumsex. However, I soon saw the funny side, as when loneliness sets in in the jungles, some entertaining light-hearted conversation can keep the spirits up, which makes it much easier to fight on when times truly get tough. Upon returning from the expidition, they were about to decommision her and put the project to rest, but I wouldn't have a word of it. As I said earlier, its the imperfections, the foibles, that make us truly human. So now she travels when I do, prototype, individual, flawed, but wonderful. Just like humanity.

Folly and Fishbait

Now, I like venus flytraps. Darling little plants, look fantastic on the sill. Its the venus mantraps you've got to look out for. Fortunately, they can only flourish naturally in one small region of the garden. Unlike the flytraps, the jaws don't grow on stalks. They lie more or less flush to the ground, the teeth-like spikes resembling saplings, green though they may be. This makes it easier for land based animals to mistake them for a simple clearing in the woods. They secrete the most amazing chemical that has drawn many an unprepred creature to its slow and painful death. Thankfully, the other thing they share in common with the simple flytrap is their slow digestive process.

I say thankfully as I myself was once caught up in one of damnable things, but unlike other wretched beasts, and indeed men, when adventuring in unknown regions of this wonderous garden I am anything but unprepared. Sticky though it was, with tireless determination I was able to reach my trusty jungle knife (for this purpose I prefer the kukhri, due its sturdy weighty blade) and after a little pruning I managed to free myself. Now, by this point I had been trapped in that hellish plant for 8 hours , and so was somewhat coated, some might say marinated, in its digestive juices and was beginning to feel one hell of a burn. Being miles from a medical facility or even a shower, I had to find the nearest body of water. As luck would have it, there was a good sized lake nearby, but as my own luck was having it that day, it turns out that this lake was not unpopulated.

It was on this day that I discovered the quadripedal giant pirahna was not as extinct as previously believed. Each one about the size of a man's torso, four spindly legs, and an ability to breath on land for short periods of time. Quick as they are, though, that was often enough for their hunts. Fortunately, the theory that the little buggers only travel in small packs turned out to be true, but as I wasn't sure if this may have been the last surviving pack, I wasn't relishing the thought of wiping the species from the garden. Being as they were too quick for me to outswim them, I had to rely on fending them off with my sheathed knife (which itself was a little worse for wear from the mantrap) until I could reach land. So there they were snapping and flapping, five of them, with me slowly working my way towards dry land. Where, if I couldn't directly outrun them, I was at least more mobile and had some chance of finding brief respite. Well, by the time I reached dry land, I'd suffered a nip or two and between that and my 8 hour battle with the plant exhaustion was beginning to set in. Fortunately, 3 of the 5 fish were too stunned to follow me on land, leaving just two, they themselves a little dazed. It was at this point my luck began to change. One quickly headed back into the water, maybe short of breath, the other collapsed soon after. Unfortunately it had expired, yet by returning to my estate with the body, I was able to achieve a grant for a full expedition in that region of the garden. We found several colonies of the creatures, and even managed to obtain enough subjects to begin a controlled breeding programme in captivation.

Nanotech Nation

Nanotechnoloy. Microscopic robots working at a cellular level to enable hugely powerful processing power. Imagine, building products fom the molecules up. Of course, the thought of machines imbued with such power is a little frightening to some. The best known fear was that of the grey goo. Maybe you've heard of it? A popular science fiction author, Drexler, coined the phrase I believe. The idea is this, the nanobots may get out of control, and reduce the world and everything in it to a grey goo.

Well, nanotech came into use in the garden several years back now, and the nanobots did indeed expand beyond our control. Possesed of a kind of hive mind their intelligence increased at an exponential rate, they infiltrated a mainframe vital to an entire region of the garden, using it as their voice while they instigated their takeover. They stated their intention to begin conversion of the garden to grey goo. I was called in by the governing body to conduct negotiations. After some considerable back and forth discourse I took a small sample of nanobots, broken away from the hive mind, and put them in a bowl of porridge for a week. They got bored, and upon rejoining the hive mind the nanites gave up the whole idea and decided to work their brand of magic on more interesting things. They currently produce the best damn toastie makers and are considered staunch allies, holding their own seat on the garden's governing body.

With their help we have made leaps and bounds in our technological and indeed social advancement. And have recently, with their aid, developed a new series of nanites, which have set limits and so are easily controllable and programmable.

Looking back on the whole incident, I think that they were testing us, that they didn't ever have any real desire to create a dull world. They enjoy variation and vibrancy. They just wanted to see how we would react before entrusting us with their ever expanding knowledge. Otherwise, why tell us what they intended to do? Why not just do it?